We All Have A Story Of Ups, Downs, and Heartbreak – This is Life.
Looking back, I reflected upon the time in my life when I knew I needed to refocus on my career. This quote about Weakness of Attention or Poverty of Imagination, reminded me of how unfocused long term I truly was:
“Man is only limited by weakness of attention and poverty of imagination. The great secret is a controlled and well sustained attention, firmly and repeatedly focused on the objectives to be accomplished.”
Neville Goddard
According to this quote, these are the two things that can stop us from reaching total fulfillment.
Oh, I was very focused, day-to-day and short term, but I certainly didn’t have the belief that anything was possible after all I and my family had endured. So, I really can’t beat myself up about it. But a transformation was certainly in order!
But, that’s not what I want to share with you at this time. Just think, that could be the subject of a book. Hey, maybe I’ll write about it one day! 🙂
I first seriously thought about restarting my career after my children were all in high school. Up to that point, they were always my main focus. Their Father had died when they were just children so my focus was on them and their future.
As high school students, they were rarely home because of friends, after-school activities and employment. My days of cooking, housekeeping, gardening and mothering were not very fulfilling. Not that I didn’t want to serve my family, not at all! I just needed more. A computer would be really helpful for the children’s school reports and searching for new career opportunities for me.
Can you remember the first time you went “online?” I bought a new Gateway 2000 PC in March 1996. When those big black and white boxes arrived, I was practically jumping up and down with excitement! My children were around me, trying to get me to hurry up!
We carefully opened up the boxes, I assembled the PC, keyboard and speakers. I was feeling overwhelmed a bit too. Could I put it together? What if I broke it? What could it actually do to enhance our lives? Our imagination ran wild!
Believe it or not, I can remember my first service provider. It was ACCN (Allegan County Community Network) out of Allegan, Michigan. My first password was “gqu1ibjj!”
Today, at my age, I walk into a room and can’t remember what I went in there for, but I can remember my first logon password!
The CEO of Gateway, Ted Waitt, who was originally from South Dakota, explained that he introduced the Holstein cow as part of Gateway’s consumer branding, blending high tech with homespun American Entrepreneurship.
Well, people went crazy for all things Gateway! I purchased “Mootlida” the plush cow (Gateway’s mascot), the Gateway black and white cup and the pen too! Their marketing sure worked on me!
Learning, Stumbling And Creating A Life.
Being young with a young family, I eventually remarried. Shortly after, I once again had the urge to be intellectually stimulated and contribute something to the world. So I started thinking about what to do next. At the time, I was a substitute school bus driver.
Then, something happened that would change my life forever. My husband and I saw an infomercial on TV that intrigued us. I turned to my husband, Rich, and said, “There’s gotta be a better way to earn a living and be home more.”
The next thing I knew, I was flying out to Anaheim, California for a 5-day intensive training on the “paper” industry. It was 1997.
By July, 1998, I had some success at selling “paper,” including real estate notes. This led to becoming a real estate investor. With an eager mind, I quickly learned various legal “creative financing” strategies.
One of the highlights at this time was that I was invited to Orlando, Florida to be in a production called, “America’s Best of the Best.” One of my creative financing strategies had paid off. 🙂
If you would have asked me the year before if I could have imagined myself on this list of people that were invited, I would definitely have said, “No!”
I Began To Use My Imagination To Believe A New Life Was Possible
In a hotel in Orlando on Lake Buena Vista, I was interviewed by Robin Leach, host of the popular TV series, “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.” He interviewed several of us investors that had done exceptionally well in real estate.
But see? We cannot put any limits on our imagination! Only we can stop ourselves from achieving what might seem impossible!
A few years later, I was making sandwiches in my kitchen for our lunch. I had the TV on in the living room. I was shocked to hear my voice on TV! They sold the rights to the show to a real estate “guru” and they were showing the interviews again.
Just remember, what you create and share publicly, just may live on in cyberspace for forever!
My Life Changed Forever – Unexpected Changes
One unexpected surprising change I experienced, was a loss of privacy. People would email or call me and say, “Can we get together for coffee? I want to pick your brain about a new deal I’m considering in real estate.”
My first thoughts were, “They don’t even know me and presume I drink coffee and that I have time to just chit-chat with a stranger?” Why did these people think they had a right to contact me and “pick my brain?” What would be appealing about that for me?
They never stopped to consider that I had my own deals I was working on. It never occurred to them that they were being rude. In their mind, it just seemed like a great idea to “treat” me to a cup of coffee, pick my brain for real estate strategies, and have the potential to make thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars. What in actuality was happening is that they expected a consultation over coffee for free!
These are the type of people that have no business trying to be a real estate investor. Would you want someone like this for a client? A business partner? They had no respect for me, my time, or their potential deal. They were in way over their heads.
I’ll never forget a local husband-and-wife truck-driving team. I lived in a pretty small agricultural community so most people knew what I did. They drove for Love’s Trucking (my husband drives big rig so I can’t remember but he may have referred them to me).
Anyway, we were getting ready for church on a quiet Sunday morning. Then, we hear this big truck stop out front. There on the road in front of our house was a big, shiny, black semi-truck with big red hearts on the door!
They stopped by my house on their way to Kansas to drop off their documentation and application for real estate funding! I had no idea they were stopping by or that they knew where I lived!
The Fork In The Road
After learning a great deal and working with some pretty famous people (at the time), my reality changed. Being in their inner circle, I saw some “behind the scenes” things from a lot of the “gurus” that I worked with that were downright appalling and shameful.
Even though I, personally, was growing and learning so much, I had to disassociate myself from these people. Most of my “friends” thought I was crazy! Why would I give up the travel, being with gurus, being part of that inner circle?
Yes, it’s true that there were many opportunities laid before me by networking with these people, but at what cost to myself? My reputation? My sense of right and wrong? Were they what I wanted to become? No, it was not for me. I felt the cost was just too high.
New Direction
The happy part about this decision was that I would go on to make more money than I ever had before (over $30K per month) by keeping my integrity and working by myself.
Therefore, I was officially done making other people tons of money with no appreciation for what I brought to the table and no respect for those we were selling to.
An experienced blogger that I follow posted recently, “The ‘Push’ of what you don’t want will always lead you to other experiences,” Lesly Federici. Follow this link to read all of Lesly’s post, “The Push Got Me To Now.”
Taking the Road Less Traveled.
If you want to quickly learn new marketing and social media trends and discover what’s working and what isn’t, pay close attention to what your successful competitors are doing. I did this and I didn’t like what I found. They may have had the sales numbers on the books, but their methods were not ethical.
If I would have listened to my “friends,” they felt that what I had been doing (working with gurus, best-selling authors, writers and seminar junkies) was working well. What they didn’t see was that the only way it was working was for short-term and for money. Unlike me, they felt this was success. I felt it was a shallow life.
I made a huge decision. After 30-some years in real estate related careers, I was putting it all behind me to focus on what had always truly made me happy. My creative side. Creating whatever I wanted to whenever and wherever I wanted to just for the sheer joy of it! My business focus today is to uplift others and inspire them to use their creative gifts as God intended.
Today, I follow no one, I plot my own course. My journey is unique, as is yours. We each have control of our own destiny. Don’t look to others to tell you what you should focus on for a career .
This site is my way of giving back. You will find I promote very few things here unless I feel they are truly useful. I try to provide high value in comparison to what I might make in commissions. (I do have affiliate links sprinkled about where I can make a small portion of a sale).
‘The Sleeper has awakened.’ I have totally refocused my life and even though it’s considered ‘not a real job,’ I am focusing on my creative side — fine art photography, painting and writing. To hell with what others think! ~ Deborah A. Ten Brink
FINAL THOUGHTS
Today I saw a video shared by another blogging friend of mine, Erika Mohssen-Beyk. She is a Life Mastery Institute graduate and teaches about how to make real and lasting changes in your life so that you can redirect your energy to look within yourself for answers. She can help you make a transformation in your way of thinking so that your true desires for success and a happy life can be achieved.
Anyway, in this video featuring Bob Proctor, he speaks about “Weakness of Attention, Poverty of Imagination.” (Having the Will to Succeed: Episode 5). Remember the Neville Goddard quote at the top of this post? We are often the one that blocks our own success. This video touched me deeply. It made me think back to those days when I knew I needed to focus on my career again.
Looking back, I don’t believe I was weak in my attention per se, but I let day-to-day “busyness” distract me so that my dreams were not clear to me nor a priority. My attention was focused very short term.
But, I was consumed and overwhelmed trying to focus on still healing from the loss of my husband, dealing with teenagers and a new marriage.
We all have duties and responsibilities each day, but if you pay attention, if you focus inward, you will find your own path to true happiness.
I have a very vivid imagination! I always have. But at that time in my life, I was not taking the time to meditate, focus and create the life I really wanted for me and my family.
We will not get what we want if we haven’t defined what that is and if we don’t believe that we can have that life we truly desire.
Choose The Path You Truly Feel Will Bring You Joy And Happiness.
The words of Dr. Wayne Dyer sum it all up best:
It may not make any sense to anyone around you, and might even appear to be preposterous to you as well, but just know that in the end you will not be disappointed. In fact, whoever and whatever you need will eventually appear in their unforeseen Divine perfection. Even if nothing seems to be going right and it all looks like doom and gloom, stay with your excitement. Declare yourself to be in a state of faith and trust, meditate on your vision, and the support will ultimately be forthcoming. The reason that it serves your inner excitement is because in those moments, known only to you, you are in alignment with who you truly are.
Wishing you unlimited happiness and success,
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Commenting is priceless to me! Please comment below and share your experiences.
Deborah
Thanks for sharing some of your journey and things that often derail us. Such is life. I just pick up the train onto the track and keep moving, hoping to take as many family and friends with me in the end.
Seems that’s all that matters for me anymore.
Paula recently posted…Glamgram DIY Healthy Natural Body Butter
Hello, Paula!
That was an interesting concept. I could picture that! I, too, believe that the greatest joy comes from helping others, especially family. 🙂
May your train and its party reach its destination safely. 😉
Deborah
Deborah recently posted…Create A Blogging Plan [video] [infographic]
Hi Deborah,
What an interesting post. I really enjoyed reading about how you came to where you are today. I also have great admiration because you left certain people and lifestyles because it “was not you.” That had to be a hard decision but then again, the only decision you could make.
Thanks so much for sharing and showing we all can start anew if we believe in ourselves and “just do it.”
Great to see you here again, Monna!
So glad you liked it since you are a published author! 🙂
It was all over a few short years and very stressful. Real highs and deep valleys. In the end, I was basically pressured to “conform” to what they thought was good business (meaning profits and that’s all). I just couldn’t do it.
So glad for the experience, however. It really made me reach places I never thought I could reach and complete projects that I would have thought I couldn’t complete.
God is good.
Deborah
Deborah recently posted…Create A Blogging Plan [video] [infographic]
Hi Deborah,
That was quite a journey you have had. Very good article. Loved it. I sure do not remember my first computer at all, let alone the password. lol Loved the Mootlida cow.
I actually wrote this down because it affected me.
“We will not get what we want if we haven’t
defined what this is…if we don’t believe
that we can have that life we truly desire.”
Also Dr. Dyers words. Wonderful article.
Kathryn Maclean recently posted…Blogging About Your Business
Thank you so much Kathryn!
It’s not easy going back to those emotional years. It was a true roller-coaster ride for sure!
What matters is that if I can share these things and live to tell my story and inspire someone else, it’s all worth it!
I’m so happy to hear that you were affected by my story. Hopefully it is encouraging you to find your true happiness and go for it!
Deborah
Deborah recently posted…Business Focus Is About More Than Just Identifying Your Passion
Thank you for sharing parts of your life ,Deborah
It may help many to realize the path is not always
straight and will unfold if we are aware of the signs
the universe gives us and we know ourselves.
A sign like this video ,maybe it was especially for you 🙂
and I am glad it helped you to write this post. I like the
quote of Wayne Dyer , he tells the truth. Often it seems
nothing is going right and we get impatient ,but the laws
of the universe work always and as he said whatever we
need will appear in their unforeseen Divine perfection.
If we are aware and in alignment with our purpose and
looking back at our life we can see it is true .
Thank you for mentioning me here, Deborah
May your story help others and make them think,
your first quote is great :“Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Make. Good. Art.” ~Neil Gaiman
Thank you
Erika
Erika Mohssen-Beyk recently posted…We Are Born With Inherent Potential A Creative Genius
I am so moved by your comments, Erika!
I feel so blessed now as I know that I work each day to stay in alignment with the Universe. If I do, and I have the courage to stay on track, the answers are indeed revealed to me. This is true for each and every one of us.
As I prepared for this post, I wasn’t quite sure what I would write. I have many experiences I could write about, but which words would convey the message I wanted to get out there? Then, I saw your video. It’s like it was THE answer to my question! Once I settled down to write the post, ideas started to flow! And here, we have the post, the words, the experiences I was meant to share.
If I could convey a simple summation for my post, it is that we need to keep an open mind and heart, trust ourselves, believe that we deserve happiness, prosperity and joy. Then, wait quietly for the answers to come. And they will. God always provides the answers to a sincere heart.
Blessings and much success to you Erika!
Deborah
Deborah recently posted…Business Focus Is About More Than Just Identifying Your Passion
Hi Deborah,
My word, this “hit the spot”:
“If I would have listened to my “friends,” they felt that what I had been doing (working with gurus, best-selling authors, writers and seminar junkies) was working well. What they didn’t see was that the only way it was working was for short-term and for money. Unlike me, they felt this was success. I felt it was a shallow life.”
I have to agree with you about the thoughts of others around us sometimes. I want more than a short term fix. The “success” some people see is the making of money, not the long term solid success that a good business brings. Unfortunately, they don’t see the bigger picture. I’ll bet they had their own opinions that may have been contrary to yours.
Well done in your progress and your successes.
Keep it up!
Barrie
Barrie Evans recently posted…Why Your Life Journey Matters.
I’m so glad you enjoyed my post about my journey, Barrie.
You have an inspirational story yourself. This is what I am seeking today; like-minded spirits that truly get what the most important things in life are — they are not things. 🙂
I’m glad to see how you are progressing. Keep living your dream, stay with your music, you are gifted!
Deborah
Deborah recently posted…Create A Blogging Plan [video] [infographic]
I admire you for making the move, and because of your reasons, Deborah. It takes courage, especially when it effects you financially. Thank you for your honesty in telling us your story.
My first job out of university was working in Management Development for a multinational company. That involved mentoring and training but, when I moved to the Human Resources department of the head office of a bank in the City of London, my views on the career changed. It had nothing to do with helping people. A couple of years there and I headed to Australia for a working holiday. I’m still here 30+ years later and never returned to that corporate world.
I enjoy working online but soon discovered that you must be careful what you get involved with, and who you listen to. There are plenty of “gurus” similar to those you came across in the real estate world. Sometimes there’s no other way to learn except by making mistakes. The important thing is realizing and changing direction.
PS. I remember unwrapping my first PC and being disappointed just finding a black screen with a C prompt 🙂
Sue Bride recently posted…New Direction in Business – Old One Revisited
Lol, OMG, Sue!
You had me there at the end! So funny!
I knew my story was certainly not unique. When you are trying your best, looking for opportunities, looking for a way to make a decent honest living, it often leads us to the majority of situations where we will be dealing with greed, corruption, immorality and the dark seedy side of this world. Unfortunate, but true!
I am proud of you, too, for making the change for yourself. I certainly don’t make that same money now, but you know what? In all honesty? I’m happier now than when I was doing any of the other things I’ve done in the past. 🙂
2016 I think is a turning point for many of us online marketers. Cheers!
Deborah
Deborah recently posted…Create A Blogging Plan [video] [infographic]
Hello Deborah! What an amazing post! Thank you so much for sharing your life journey with us! I can also remember my first computer and my first password Funny how you mention that.. HEHE
I always think of this statement when hear people talk about failing “” I’ve Not Failed. I’ve Found 10,000 Ways That Won’t Work..
Great Share..
Thanks
Chery :))
Oh, thank you Chery! As you know, I took a few months off – absolutely necessary, to get my act together and we moved. I’m getting my office set up and then I can get back into painting!
Love the quote! It’s so true. We haven’t failed. There are so many options in life and you chose one or two. You learned from the choice so it’s not really a “mistake.” It adds to your life experience. I know I am older and wiser now. 🙂
Take care, I’ll be stopping by!
Deborah
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This is beautiful. Such a lovely inspiration for people looking to put their lives in the right direction.
Thank you @louis!
Glad you stopped by and felt a bit inspired!
Deborah
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Wow .. poverty of imagination. What strong and thought altering words.. boy, have you come a long way and I’m honored to have known you for part of it. Seeing what you’re doing now is really gratifying. You listened to your heart. I often think those that follow others, listen to THEIR hearts and not their own embark on a path of a lost soul. You didn’t in spite of the loss you’ve experienced, it made you stronger, and I think even more creative. I love seeing the images you post, you and your camera. Life is meant to be challenging because out of the bumps comes a new way of being and doing.. Wonderful Deborah .. wonderful .. love you my friend 🙂
Lesly T. Federici recently posted…Getting Off The Coat Tails To Carve Your Own Path
Lesly, I so appreciate your comments and the visit!
Life sure is a journey isn’t it? The trick is to learn to appreciate all of the twists and turns and characters you meet along the way. It’s all to expand our experience and enrich our lives… If we let it.
Love you too,
Deborah
Deborah recently posted…10 Reasons For Daily Digital Journaling
Hi Deborah
Let me say that this is just awesome and I do like the fact that you followed your path when you smelled foul play. These days people follow strange practices just to make money.
I also commend you for following the road less traveled. This road can be rigorous and not really for everyone but as you showed, in the long run, it is the best option.
I truly appreciate your heart-felt words, Ikechi!
Thank you so much for the visit and for taking time to comment. It is a challenge at times when we reach a crossroads in our life. For me to be happy, I have to live by my moral compass. It wasn’t easy!
Much continued success,
Deborah
Deborah recently posted…10 Reasons For Daily Digital Journaling
Hi Deborah,
Wow…you blew me away with this article. I can resonate with your past so well. I too was working with “the lifestyle of the rich and famous” folks before I came online. It began to be too yucky for me. You know..that feeling….. Eventually I broke away.
I like the energy you have and the way you explained how your imagination took you to many levels. I also love what you are doing presently and you are an artist in my eye!
One has to listen to their heart and go with the idea..the feeling of knowingness and then we can endure the energy it takes to reach any goal with happiness and excitement.
You are more amazing than I knew…thank you for sharing your story because people need to hear that. Those that let fear run their lives, those that sit and hope while doing nothing and especially those who won’t even let themselves dream.
A Must Share!!!
-Donna
Donna Merrill recently posted…Your Blog Is A Sales Funnel
Well, OMG! You are just too kind, Donna!
I am so grateful for you and so many others that light the way to blogging happiness and success! Life is full of twists and turns. I have learned that we needn’t fear change or what’s around the next corner. I feel I have whatever I need to accept and conquer these challenges all within me. I also know all the right people if I should need help along the way! 😉
As you know, I took some much needed time off to collect my thoughts and focus on a healthier lifestyle. I’m sure this contributes to my current clarity and focus.
Thank you again, Donna, for all you do! 🙂
Deborah
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Hi Deborah,
We all have an interesting life with ups and downs. Some people take it in a positive way but others don’t.
You know when you have experienced the fame in your previous days and just in a sudden you lose everything can be heartbreaking. But you would never forget those days the talent you have.
People called to have a cup of coffee because they wanted to know what you think, what are your ideas about real estate.
I am sure you have a brain with millions of ideas.
Thanks for this wonderful article.
Have a great day.
~Ravi
Ravi Chahar recently posted…How To Redirect WordPress Feeds To Feedburner Using .htaccess?
Hello, Ravi! So happy to see you here!
Yes, those days are firmly etched in my mind, but not in a bad way. They are experiences that I learned a great deal from. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for those years and many other events that took place. I’m sure that’s how it is for most of us.
You are right about our attitude towards challenging times. Sometimes, our attitude is about the only thing we have a choice about. Life can throw things at us that we never imagined. I just try to remember a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert, “…set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself… then truth will not be withheld from you.”
Best wishes Ravi,
Deborah
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